Welcome to the Kim Kogane Show
Ep. 01 Welcome to the Kim Kogane Show
Welcome to the very first episode of the Kim Kogane Show! We said goodbye to the Floating Experiment last time we chatted, and I’m excited for this new iteration of the podcast. Today I’m exploring why it is hard to be celebrated as I record this episode on my birthday. I’m spending time this summer exploring what it’s like to have more time and space to just be and letting go of the need to be productive 24/7.
I talk about how it’s important to be able to name what we want in order to be able to pursue what we truly desire. After a year of transition, I’m excited to dive even deeper and stop living in the “shallow end” of life. I’m inviting in the courage to be even more vulnerable and share more of myself.
I end by inviting you to have the courage to chase your dreams, and I’m always here to share what I’m going through in the hope that you feel less alone.
Transcript
Hello, and welcome to the very first episode of the Kim Kogane Show. I'm your host, Kim Kogane, and this podcast is meant to be a moment of pause in your busy day. Get comfy, take a deep breath while I share my journey with you. Let's go to the show.
Here we are, episode one. It feels really good to have made this switch and to have said goodbye to the The floating experiment. And now we are here. I had all these plans for how I wanted to share this show and kick off the first season of the Kim Kogane show. Um, But then I woke up and it's my birthday today as I'm recording, and I just felt like coming here and sharing.
So here we are. The episodes I have planned are kind of out the window, and I'm just letting this flow, which is kind of what I wanted the intention of the show and the name change to be all along. So. Here we are. I'm recording this on my birthday, but you will be hearing it a little bit later. Um, and what's interesting about this and about this little nudge that I'm following, which is kind of how I know it's my inner voice, my intuition, and not like from the mind, is that like, I don't really like birthdays.
I don't know about you, but they've always just kind of made me uncomfortable, and I found myself leading up to this day kind of being like, oh, it's just like an inconvenient time to celebrate. It's summer, it's busy, people have things going on, and I kind of stopped myself and I'm like, why do I feel like that?
And why don't I like this particular day? And I feel like you might be able to relate, um, that it can be uncomfortable for us to, um, Ask for celebration and even to celebrate ourselves. Um, so it's always just been this day that just feels kind of weird. Like I feel uncomfortable celebrating, but I know that there is this desire within to be celebrated and for this to be a really wonderful, fun-loving day. So that is the energy that I'm bringing into this. And I'm really excited to kick off this new show on my solar return. It just feels really fitting. Um, there's been a lot of like alignment happening and interesting coincidences, or maybe not coincidences, maybe they're nudges from the universe.
I don't know. But things have been really feeling. Like, not quite, almost like faded, like, I'm in the exact place at the right time, I don't know why, it's kind of uncomfortable, um, and yet here I am. And I've just been reflecting a lot on what I want this new year to bring, the changes I'm wanting to make in my life and just reflecting back and thinking, okay, what is no longer working for me?
How can I show up differently and change my behaviors so that I'm living more authentically? I'm living deeper. Finding more joy and contentment because that's really what life is about. And I am really determined to try and live my life in a really full way. So really embracing joy and happiness and celebration, but also embracing sadness, loneliness, you know, just feeling everything fully and being really open to all kinds of experiences and not labeling them good or bad.
And just really trying to allow things to be and stepping into the unknown without needing to know all of the next steps, which is a lot easier said than done. Like, I am the kind of person, if I'm reading a book and I don't like what's happening, I read ahead until I get to a part like, okay, I feel better.
It's all going to work out. And then I'll go back and like read back up to that point. But the reality is we can't read ahead. In our life, like all we really have is the present moment and the choices that we are making in the here and now, and so that is where I'm trying to shift my focus, while also thinking like, okay, what is What dreams do I have?
You know, I'm not saying don't dream, don't think about the future. I'm, I think that's a great way to inform what you're doing in the present. But what I'm really wanting to do is think about, okay, where would I like to be? And what choices can I make in the here and now to get to that point? And also, what are those desires, those goals?
Like, What is the meaning behind them? Like, what is it that I'm actually looking for to feel? And how can I bring those feelings, those experiences to my life currently? And what I've been really thinking about is just spending more time. in joy, in play, in creativity. Um, you know, I think we all fall prey to this idea that we need to be hyper productive.
We should always be doing something, optimizing, being efficient. And I'm just not so sure that that path really for me leads to contentment, joy, fulfillment. And so it's been really uncomfortable to kind of go against the grain, if you will, and start to contemplate, like, how can I create space in my schedule.
I don't know about you, but oftentimes when I meet up with friends, you know, we all are always just like, Oh, I've been so busy. And it feels weird to be the person who isn't busy. And for that to be intentional. And sometimes I forget I'll have some spaciousness in my life and then. feel bad and forget that it was like an active choice that I made, but it is.
And I've really taken the month of July to not pressure myself to dive into work and to not fill up my calendar. And I've been trying to just allow myself, um, to do what I want. And, you know, sometimes it feels really good. I'm not going to lie. It can be really challenging in other times to live in that not knowing.
But I'm really trying to just trust not only the process, but myself to trust that I do know what's best for me. And I am capable of making choices that are going to lead me in the direction I want. And so that's what I've been doing. I've been going on long walks with Koshi. I've been trying to spend time in the park or journaling or reading a book just because and just taking that time to, to really enjoy life and being in the present moment.
One thing that I've learned in this past year of, I would say like transition and experimentation is that it is quite scary to go after the things you want and to name your desires. I think I'm definitely someone who has in the past just kind of. Said yes or no to things, to options that have been presented to me instead of saying, this is what I want, this is what I'm going after, and it's okay if I try and fail, and I think often we, we bury those things that we want a lot because it would be really scary to say that we want them and to try and for it to not work out.
But I don't think that you can ever get exactly what you want without naming it first. And so there have been a lot of things in this past year that I really tried to go after. I've been kind of in the background starting to work on my first novel and in a lot of ways it's been really flowing. Like it feels easy.
It feels light. It feels fun and It also feels uncomfortable to share that I'm doing that and to say that I'm a writer because, you know, I feel like I need, like, the proof first. But, you know, I am a writer. I write every day. I have this project and I really want to to pursue it and see what happens and I'm just trusting that it will unfold in the way it needs to.
I think even with the shifting of this show, it was really hard to make that choice and it feels really kind of vain to name a whole podcast after myself, but I think In a lot of ways it really fits and I'm so grateful for the floating experiment and how it got me to this place. And it was definitely a necessary step.
I don't think that when I started podcasting, I would have felt comfortable, um, being, being this vulnerable and just saying the show is me. Like, that's kind of it. You know, I hope you'll listen. I hope that my journey resonates. Um, but I wasn't standing behind, you know, I'm no longer standing behind a concept or, you know, I'm not, I'm trying to leverage myself as an expert in anything.
Um, I'm just really here. Living my life, sharing my experiences alongside you and hoping that part of my journey might resonate and that you feel a little less alone. That's always been my intention to share my journey in hopes that it reaches you and maybe it touches on something that you've been thinking about.
And, you know, when you're listening to this, if you're doing the dishes or you're on a walk that, You feel like you have a friend with you, because I think we all need a few more friends in our lives and people who can relate to our journeys and so that's why I changed the name and why we're shifting into this new iteration that Kim Kogane show because really it is at the end of the day, just me sharing My journey and maybe you'll learn something Maybe you won't I hope that you do and I hope that you enjoy it And I'm not exactly sure where this journey is going to lead us I just feel like I have to keep showing up when I feel those nudges and hopefully down the line, it all makes sense.
I don't know. Not really sure what I'm trying to say here, but you get the idea, I hope. But anyway, back to kind of my just reflecting on the year, thinking about the year ahead. I think one thing I would like to really invite in is the courage to be even more vulnerable and to share. My true desires and to go after them so that I can get to that even deeper level of living and experiencing.
I feel like I've been kind of like maybe waiting or like kind of in like the, the shallow end and I'm ready to dive even deeper. And I'm hoping that this next year for me brings more experiences. I want to really cultivate deeper connections, build more community, and be able to express myself creatively.
And I hope that if you have ever been wanting to try a new project or express yourself that you give yourself permission to do that as well. I think we all have a voice, we all have something to share, whatever that looks like. It could be a podcast, a song, painting, I don't know. An organization technique.
I think we really truly do all have something to offer and to share and creativity resides within us all. So I hope that you give yourself permission to explore and I'm right there with you. And I hope that we are able to learn from each other and grow and that you really just chase that life that you want because you are worthy of going after your dreams.
You are worthy of cheering yourself on and trusting yourself and knowing that you are so capable of living the life that you want. Um, and so I'll kind of leave you there. And I hope that you keep following along on my journey and If you're enjoying this podcast, it would just mean so much if you shared it with someone who you thought might resonate with it as well.
You can also go on to Spotify or Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts and give it a rating and a review. Um, when you take the time to actually write a review, it honestly, it, it, It means so much to me, it gives me the encouragement to keep going. I think a lot of times when I'm doing this, it can feel like things are just going out into the ether.
And I love reading how people feel when they're listening. And when they leave the review, it truly does mean so much to me. Like I actually tear up a little any every time I read a new one. So if you feel called to, I would love if you could share there. Thank you so much for being here. Episode one. We're done. I will see you next time. Take care.
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Originally Published August 3, 2022
