Newsletter Archive No. 03 - Are you like me?

I always skip to the end of the story.

I’ve never had an affinity for crazy plot twists. I always look a movie up on IMDB before watching, and these days I prefer to rewatch a familiar show over seeing something new. Maybe that’s why I love rom-coms so much. There’s a certain comfort in knowing the story will be tied up in a nice little bow by the end. 

When I was younger, I remember getting to the part of a book where as a reader you don’t like what’s happening. You know those parts that make you squirm in your seat as you read them or when you want to yell at the main character and tell them they’re making the wrong choice. I couldn’t stand discomfort, so I would skip ahead. Once I found a moment of resolution, I would exhale knowing it was all going to work out and resume reading. When I felt myself start to get squirmy, I would think about what was coming next and that got me through the uncomfortable part of the story. 

So much of the work I’ve been doing these last four years has been about embracing the unknown. I’d like to say that it’s become easier to live in the moment and trust in what is yet to come, but I’m still very much a work in progress. I still try to control my path and my life. I try to read ahead in my own story, creating a vision for what I think I want and working backwards until I have a blueprint to follow. 

What I’ve learned is the desire to know what’s next is the exact obstacle in my way.

It may feel comforting to read ahead in a story, but trying to control my life leads to me feeling exhausted and discontent. The “read ahead” philosophy doesn’t really apply to life. When I think about what I love most about rom-coms, it’s not their predictability. I find their formulaic nature comforting, but what keeps me watching is the hopeful feeling it gives me that life can feel magical all the time.

If life is a movie, maybe we’re not meant to be the viewer.

As a viewer, we get to see exactly what is meant to happen in a rom-com, but the characters have no idea what is around the corner. The lead doesn’t know that the neighbor they hate is their love interest. They can’t predict the meet cute waiting for them at their coffee shop. Even the scenes where they’re at home doing nothing feel meaningful feed the plot in some way.

I wonder what it might feel like to treat life more like being in a movie versus watching a movie. What if we were like the character in the movie, and truly experiencing each moment instead of being the viewer trying to predict what will happen.

Trying to be the main character is not a new idea, but perhaps it can be a good reminder that being present is the best change we can make in our lives.

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LIFE ISN’T A MATTER OF MILESTONES BUT OF MOMENTS.

ROSE KENNEDY

As humans I think we naturally spend a lot of time thinking about what has already happened and what will happen next. It’s how we’re designed, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a great skill to have, but that’s not necessarily where the magic lives.

The magic is in the not knowing.

Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty frustrated with where I’m at in this season of life. I had a timeline all planned out for how I would heal from surgery. By now, I thought my ankle would be ready for long walks, but it’s actually quite the opposite. It  needs me to do less, to be softer in my healing process. So, I’ve been throwing myself a lot of pity parties and trying to let go of the expectations I had for this summer.

Some days I love the slower pace. Other days I feel trapped in my house and like everyone is moving forward without me. Healing can feel lonely. When I take a moment to think about how this would play out in a movie, it would be a montage of all the days at home blended together with a good soundtrack. It’s the bit in between big plot points which is still important and moves the story along.

Maybe there’s even some magic to be found.

How would you describe your current season as if it were part of a movie?

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Originally published on June 6, 2024.